How Mariska Hargitay, Peter Hermann Use Humor in Tough Conversations
How Mariska Hargitay, Husband Peter Hermann Navigate Disagreements
Mariska Hargitay knows how to keep the proper order in her marriage.
The Law & Order: SVU star shared insight into her decades-long marriage with husband Peter Hermann, revealing what she thinks is the secret to their lasting romance.
“I feel so blessed in that department,” Hargitay exclusively told E! News about her marriage. “My new two favorite words are ‘disciplined curiosity.’ Really being curious about the other person and how they experience something and really listening.”
And she and the Younger actor—who share kids August, 19, Amaya, 15, and Andrew, 14—aren’t afraid of having the “tough conversations,” even if it can make them feel uncomfortable. Thankfully, the two have a way to deal with it.
“My husband and I also use a lot of humor to get through things,” the 62-year-old said. “The way we can joke about things and then afterwards we go, ‘Too soon?’ It's sort of everything for us.”
More than anything, the Emmy winner was grateful that Hermann, 58, with whom she tied the knot in 2004, is “an extremely thoughtful person.”
“If there is ever a disagreement or argument or we get scared or tight, I know that he will always think about it or think about what I said,” Hargitay shared. “If we disagree on something I really will try to understand what he means. We give each other the space to have those—they can be tough conversations—but to really listen and understand, because I think you get into trouble when you close down.”
She added, “It’s the way you talk about it and the room that you give each other.”
Dimitrios Kambouris/Getty Images for Tribeca Festival
Hargitay is also grateful about her upcoming partnership with Bristol Myers Squibb on their new educational campaign, "Investigating Myeloma." Multiple myeloma, a form of blood cancer, is an illness she knows quite a lot about as her father Mickey Hargitay—who was married to her late mother Jayne Mansfield—died from the disease in 2006.
But thanks to new research, there is hope for those diagnosed with multiple myeloma.
“Multiple myeloma is an incurable disease, but it is treatable,” Hargitay said. “With this research there's just so much more hope to be had. Things have changed so much in 20 years.”
For a look back at Hargitay and Hermann’s love story, keep reading.
—Nikaline McCarley
Albert L. Ortega/Getty Images
A Happy Handful
Mariska Hargitay and Peter Hermann adorably had their hands full wrangling kids August, Amaya and Andrew for a photo at the unveiling of the Law & Order: Special Victims Unit star's Hollywood Walk of Fame plaque in 2013.
Bryan Bedder/Getty Images for Joyful Heart Foundation
Joyful Bunch
In 2016, the couple and their oldest son August enjoyed a night at The Joyful Revolution Gala, an event held by Hargitay's charity Joyful Heart Foundation.
Family Is All That Matters
"Everything," Hargitay simply captioned this lovely photo of her family embracing in a hug.
Aloha!
In July 2017, Hargitay snapped this cute pic of her and Hermann enjoying the waves in Hawaii.
Baggage
Turns out stars have the same problems as us at the airport!
"That feeling when your flight's delayed four hours," captioned the actress in August 2017, "you board the plane, you get off the plane because of maintenance issues, you go to a new gate for a new plane, where you find out the new plane's not ready."
Tourists
From the same trip to Italy, the two looked cute as buttons wearing hats while exploring the city.
In the Woods
Hargitay shared this sweet photo of her and her husband on his birthday in August 2018, also shouting out to Debra Messing in her Instagram caption as she shares the same birthday.
Avengers Assemble!
The dynamic duo dressed up as Black Widow and Captain America to celebrate Halloween in 2018.
The Best Broadway +1
How fun! Hargitay and Hermann spent a date night attending the New York Spingsteen on Broadway concert in December 2018 only to meet Bruce Spingsteen himself after the show!
Retreat
The philanthropic family shared with fans more about their charity back in December 2018.
"We just wrapped an incredibly inspiring board retreat day with an incredibly inspiring board," Hargitay expressed on Instagram.
"Thank you for your great hearts and you're great brains and your deep dedication to bringing change."
Bae-cation
The cute couple soak up the sun in the Dominican Republic in December 2018.
Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images for Samsung
Red Carpet Ready
The lovebirds attended the 2018 Samsung Charity Gala in Manhattan dressed to the nines.
#NoFilter
The two cuties threw on an adorable deer filter on this photo the Law & Order actress shared in June 2018.
"Happy Holidays from our family to yours," she wrote, tagging that the two were soaking up the sun in Italy.
Best Team
After throwing the first pitch for the Mets in September 2019, Hargitay took to her Instagram to snap a quick alongside her love.
Happy Birthday!
"How does he get #Younger every year???" Hargitay gushed on her Instagram when she celebrated her husband's most recent birthday this past August.
Instagram (therealmariskahargitay)
Forever Valentines
Mariska shared this sweet photo to celebrate another Valentine's Day with her love, captioning her 2023 post, "My Valentine #home"
Instagram (therealmariskahargitay)
Italian Vacation
The happy couple enjoyed fun in the Italian sun. Mariska captioned her June 2023 post, "Amore #summerlove #HappySummerSolstice #Capri #Faraglioni"
Sameer Al-Doumy/AFP via Getty Images
All Together
It was a family affair for Hargitay and Hermann at the 2025 Cannes Film Festival, where the brought along their kids for the premiere of My Mom Jayne.
John Nacion/Variety via Getty Images
Date Night
Hargitay and Hermann were all smiles at the 2025 Tribeca Artists Dinner hosted by Chanel in New York.
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